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Your marriage ceremony will be the focal point of a very special day for you both, and the time and trouble you take in planning it will make it memorable to you and to your families and friends for all the right reasons. In the case of a civil ceremony this includes the appropriate words for the marriage, any poetry and prose you may want to include, and to give careful thought to the music, the entrances and exits, and the placing of your ”supporting cast'' - the best man, the bridesmaids, etc. In recent years there has been a complete change of approach to the style in which civil marriage ceremonies are conducted, and there is now scope for couples to have a high degree of creative input which was not permitted years ago. There will undoubtedly be specific words that you would like to say to each other, and to your guests, on that day in addition to words that are compulsory, and constitute the legal framework of the ceremony. It is, however, very important that when you are considering adding poetry, prose, music or even writing your own words, you remember that a wedding conducted by Registrars is a legal contract, and that its basis in law is that it is a civil ceremony. It is not, therefore, a substitute for a religious wedding of any description, and no religious reading or music are permitted; it is, instead, a realistic alternative which is suited to the needs of a wide cross-section of society. Church weddings are more formal running to a traditional format, and our best advice is to consult with the churchman who will conduct the service about any special requests. You will probably be surprised how accommodating the Church can be these days.
MUSIC classical music | modern music Choose the music that you enjoy the most, and which means the most to you! Possibly the most important rules to keep to are these; the music for the assembly of the guests should be something which the groom finds relaxing - remember that the bride will never hear this selection! The music for the arrival of the bride should then provide a dramatic contrast. By the time we reach the signing of the register, favourite music of you both would be a good choice. The exit of the bride and groom is an opportunity for something dramatic, joyful, or amusing, like Purcell's Trumpet Tune, Walking on Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves, or Love and Marriage by Frank Sinatra. It is best to supply the music for these two separate occasions on two separate CDs, so no confusion takes place.
The first decision you must make is whether you will have classical or modern music, or a combination of both. Classical music is hard to beat for a traditional wedding, and yet modern music is brilliantly suited to creating an up-to-date and perhaps fun-filled background for a thoroughly modern couple. Start then with what you know, and what you both like, and see for yourselves how easy it is to add drama, emotion, excitement, laughter and fun to the ceremony, through the careful choice and placing of your favourite pieces. The traditional nature of a wedding can be sensitively emphasised with music played on a beautiful instrument such as a harp, cello or violin, and by the choosing of well-loved music from composers such as Handel, Bach, Scarlatti, Mozart, Chopin, or Elgar. For those who want modern music, choose from great film themes, instrumentals or songs with words that mean a lot to you both. There are usually four opportunities to select music for your wedding ceremony; for the assembly of the guests, for the entry of the bride, for the signing of the register, and finally, for the exit of the bride and groom.
The following are mixed content, some religious music and some modern classics. I hope they give you some ideas. G.F Handel Lasia Ch'io Pianga J.S Bach Arioso J.S Bach Jesu, Joy of man's desiring W A Mozart Minuet Vivald Four seasons, Winter Vivaldi Four seasons, Spring - L.V Beethoven 5th Symphony ('Andante Con Molto ') Wagner The Bridal Chorous (from 'Lohengrin') Mendelsson The Wedding march W.A Mozart Voce Sapete Nimrod Elgar Williams Greensleves J.S Bach Sheep May Safely Graze Saint Saens The Swan Handel Hornpipe (from the water music) Grieg Morning (from Peer Gynt) Verdi Grand Mrach(from Aida) Handel Arrival of the Queen of Sheba Handel The rejoicing from music for the royal fireworks Mozart Excultate Jubilate Mozart Laudate Dominum Haydn Three Clock Pieces Franck Panis Angelicus Bach Wacht Auf Debussy Clair De Lune Rutter The Lord Bless You And Keep You Vierne Carillion De Westminster Joseph Mouret Rondeau Meyerbeer Grand March from Le Prophete Whitlock Fanfare Beethoven Ode to Joy Handel March from Scipio Handel Hallelujah Chorus( from Messiah) Widor Finale from Symphony No.1 Saint Saens Maestoso from Symphony No 3 in C Elgar Pomp and Circumstance March No 4 Mozart Overture from The Marriage of Figaro Pachelbel Canon in D Major Bach Air on a G string Elgar Salut d'amour Delibes The Love Duet (Lakme) Faure Pavane Grieg Wedding Day in Troldhaugen Clarke Prince of Denmark March, Clarke Trumpet Voluntary Purcell Trumpet tune in D Jennifer Rush The Power of love Brian Adams Everything I do, I do it for you Lou Reed Perfect Day Shania Twain From this moment Gareth Gates Unchained Melody Carpenters We've only just begun Will Young Evergreen Savage Garden Truly, madly, deeply
Passages of prose, or the reading of poetry, will add weight, dignity and interest to your civil or Church marriage ceremony. It provides time for quiet reflection for your guests in much the same way that hymns and psalms do in a church ceremony, and it gives the bride and groom a little “time out'' from their roles as leading man and leading lady in this very special production! It also gives you the opportunity to personalise your ceremony to reflect something of your own tastes and interests. Readings can be humorous, romantic, philosophical - the choice is endless. You could invite any of your guests to give the readings, remember also that the registration officers will always do this for you. Choose the readings you would like to have, and include them in appropriate places in your civil ceremony.
For Church Weddings, two of the most popular religious readings are from Corinthians: If I speak in the tongues of
mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging
cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all
knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have
love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my
body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.
Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
Non Religious Readings suitable for Church AND civil ceremonies Sometimes lighter or humourous content may be preferred even for Church wedding services, - some suggestions are:
You were born together, and together you shall be for evermore. You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days. Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of life. but let there be spaces in your togetherness, and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup, but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread, but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping for only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together yet not too near together, for the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow. Khalil Gibran
The owl and the pussy cat went to sea in a beautiful pea green boat. They took some honey and plenty of money wrapped up in a five pound note. The owl looked up at the stalks above and sang to a small guitar, 0 pussy, 0 pussy, 0 pussy my love, What a beautiful pussy you are you are, What a beautiful pussy you are . Pussy said to the owl, "You elegant fowl, How charmingly sweet you sing, O let us be married, too long we have tarried, But what shall we do for a ring? They sailed away for a year and a day To the land where the Bong Tree grows And there in a wood a piggy-wig stood With a ring at the end of his nose, his nose, With a ring at the end of his nose.
“Dear pig are you willing to sell for one shilling your ring?” Said the piggy, “I will” So they took it away and were married next day By the turkey who lives on the hill. They dined on mince and slices of quince which they ate with a rinsible spoon. And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand they danced by the light of the moon - the moon They danced by the light of the moon. Edward Lear
If in the morning when you wake, lf the sun does not appear, l will be here. If in the dark we lose sight of love, Hold my hand and have no fear, l will be here.... l will be here When you feel like being quiet, When you need to speak your mind, will listen Through the winning, losing and trying We'll be together And l will be here..... lf in the morning when you wake, If the future is unclear, I will be here. As sure as seasons were made for change, Our lifetimes were made for years, l will be here.... I will be here And you can cry on my shoulder When the mirror tells us we're older l will hold you, to watch you grow in beauty, And tell you all the things you are to me. We'll be together and I will be here, l will be true to the promises l've made, To you and to the one who gave you to me Steven Curtis Chapman
To keep your marriage brimming With love in the loving cup Whenever you're wrong admit it Whenever you're right, shut up. Ogden Nash
I promise to give you the best of myself, and to ask of you no more than you can give. I promise to respect you as your own person and to realise that your interests, desires and needs are no less important than my own. I promise to share with you my time and attention and to bring joy, strength and imagination to our relationship. I promise to share with you my innermost fears, feelings and dreams; 1 will grow along with you, and be willing to change to keep our relationship alive and exciting. I promise to love you both in good times and bad with all that I have to give, and all that I feel inside in the only way l know, completely and forever. Dorothy Colgan
May the sun bring you new energy by day May the moon softly restore you by night, May the rain wash away your worries and the breeze blow new strength into your being, And all the days of your life may you walk gently through the world and know its beauty Now you will feel no rain, for each will shelter the other Now you will feel no cold, for each will warm the other. Now there is no more loneliness; You are two persons, but there is only one life before you. Go now to your dwelling to enter into the days of your life together, and may your days be good and long upon the earth. From an Apache Indian Ceremony
Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune, but do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here, and whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. Max Ehrmann
Carry her over the water And set her down under the tree Where the culvers white all day and all night And the winds from every quarter Sing agreeably, agreeably, agreeably of love. Put a gold ring on her finger And press her close to your heart While the fish in the lake their snapshots take And the frog, that sanguine singer Sings agreeably, agreeably, agreeably of love. The streets shall all flock to your marriage The houses turn round to look The tables and chairs say suitable prayers And the horses drawing your carriage Sing agreeably, agreeably, agreeably of love. W H Auden
I wish l could remember the first day First hour, first moment of your meeting me If bright or dim the season, it might be Summer or winter for aught I can say So unrecorded did it slip away So blind was l to see and to foresee So dull to mark the budding of my tree That would not blossom yet for many a May. If only I could recollect it! Such A day of days! l let it come and go As traceless as a thaw of bygone snow. lt seemed to mean so little, meant so much! If only now I could recall that touch, First touch of hand in hand! Did one but know! Christina Rossetti
The fountains mingle with the river And the rivers with the ocean The winds of heaven mix for ever With a sweet emotion. Nothing in the world is single All things by a law divine ln one another's being mingle - Why not l with thine'? See the mountains kiss high heaven And the waves clasp one another; No sister-flower would be forgiven lf it disdain'd its brother: And the sunlight clasps the earth And the moonbeams kiss the sea; What are all these hissings worth lf thou kiss not me? Percy Byshe Shelley
A good marriage must be created. ln a marriage, the little things are the big things. It is remembering to say "I love you'' at least once a day It is never going to sleep angry. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives lt is standing together and facing the world. lt is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. lt is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. lt is having the capacity to forgive and forget. lt is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is not only marrying the right person, lt is being the right partner.
Love is being happy for the other person when they are happy, being sad for them when they are sad, being together in good times and bad. Love is a source of strength. Love is being honest with yourself at all times, and honest with the other person at all times; telling, listening, respecting the truth, never pretending. Love is the source of reality. Love is the excitement of planning things together, the excitement of doing things together. Love is the source of the future. Love is giving and taking, being patient with each other's needs and desires, for love is the source of sharing. Love is knowing that the other person will always be with you, missing them when they are away, but knowing that they remain in your heart at all times. Love is the source of security', love is the source of life.
May the road rise to meet you May the wind be always at your back May the sun shine warm upon your face And may the hand of a friend always be near. May you see your children's children May you be poor in misfortune Rich in blessings May you know nothing but happiness From this day forward.
Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments. Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove. O no! lt is an ever fixed mark, that looks on tempests and is never shaken; it is the star to every wand'ring bark, whose worths unknown although his height be taken. Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks within his bending sickle's compass come. Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, but bears it out even to the edge of doom; if this be error, and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved. William Shakespeare
lf you can always be as close And as happy as today Yet be secure enough to grow And change along the way.
lf you can keep for you alone Your love as man and wife Yet find the time to share your joy With other in your life.
If you can be as one, and walk Through marriage hand in hand, Yet still support the goals and dreams That each of you have planned.
If you can dare to always go Your separate ways, together, Then all the wonders of today Will stay with you, forever.
My true love hath my heart, and I have his, By just exchange one for another given. l hold his dear, and mine he cannot miss, There never was a better bargain driven; My true love hath my heart, and 1 have his.
His heart in me keeps him and me in one, My heart in him his thought and senses guides; He loves my heart, for once it was his own, I cherish his because in me it bides; My true love hath my heart, and I have his. Sir Philip Sydney
It felt like an ordinary morning It began in an ordinary way And then, without warning Ordinary morning Became extraordinary day.
Hadn't the slightest sort of inkling - No-one said love was on its way - And then, within a twinkling Without the smallest inkling It became an extraordinary day.
For there you were And the whole world stood still. There you were, 1 loved you then, and I always will.
At first, an ordinary morning. Began on an ordinary way, And then my heart was beating At this ordinary meeting And we both knew This was not an ordinary day. Joyce Grenfell
Had l the heavens' embroidered cloths Enwrought with golden and silver light The blue and the dim and the dark cloths Of night and light and the half-light I would spread the cloths under your feet But 1 being poor, have only my dreams. I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams. W B Yeats
Yes, yours, my love, is the right human face I in my mind had waited for this long, Seeing the false and searching for the true, Then l found you as a traveller finds a place Of welcome suddenly amid the wrong Valleys and rocks and twisting roads. But you, what shall I call you? A fountain in a waste, A well of water in a country dry, Or anything that's honest and good, an eye That makes the whole world bright. Your open heart Simple with giving, gives the primal deed, The first good world, the blossom, the blowing seed, The hearth, the steadfast land, the wandering sea Not beautiful or rare in every part But like yourself, as they were meant to be. Edwin Muir
Look to this day for it is life, the very life of life. In it's brief course lie all the realities and truths of existence; The joy of growth, the splendour of action the glory of power. For yesterday is but a memory, And tomorrow is only a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday A memory of happiness And every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore, to this day.
Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being "in love'' which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two. A successful marriage is one where each person discovers that it is better to give love than to receive it; In a long marriage, there will be joy and laughter, but also sadness and sorrow as you both strive to fulfil your dreams. As you build your home and raise a family your marriage can become a work of art; you will be challenged every day, and in every way, to make your marriage work; if you do, it will become a thing of beauty, and a joint creation of enduring value. An extract from Captain Corelli's Mandolin by Louis De Bernieres
I'll look up, and there you will be, I'll take your hand; You'll take mine, and we'll turn together To look at the road we travelled to reach this - The hour of our happiness.
lt stretches behind us Even as the future lies ahead A long and winding road, Whose every turn means discovery. O1d hopes, new laughter, Shared fears.
The adventure has just begun.
and here's the reason why So l can push you out of bed when the baby starts to cry And if we hear a knocking and it's creepy and it's late, l hand you the torch you see, and you investigate Yes I'll marry you, my dear, you may not apprehend it, But when the tumble-drier goes, it's you that has to mend it, You have to face the neighbour, should our labrador attack him And if a drunkard fondles me, it's you that has to whack him. Yes, I'll marry you, you're virile and you're lean, My house is like a pigsty, you can help to keep it clean, That sexy little dinner which you served by candlelight, As l do chipolas, you can cook it every night! It's you who has to work the drill and put up curtain track, And when l've got P.M.T. it's you who gets the flak, I do see great advantages, but none of them for you, And so before you see the light - l DO, l DO, l DO!!! Pam Ayres
Today seemed a lifetime away, now suddenly it's here How did it happen so quickly, this wedding drawing near? How can I sound so happy on this very special day, When in such a very short time I'llgive my daughter away. I wish I could grasp a moment and make the clock stand still So l could let my heart catch up, but l know it never will All the worries of being a parent, most of the battles won But no-one ever warned me about the day the job is done. Yet there is another side, where my heart is not so sad When I look into my daughter's eyes, I feel so joyful and glad For I know that l was privileged when this child was lent to me To love and care for and nurture, so she would grow to be This lovely, bright young woman, today - a beautiful bride And as always, l am there, with love, at my daughter's side . When you love someone, you do not love Them in exactly the same way, from moment to moment; that is an impossibility, yet that is exactly what most of us demand. We should have more faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We watch the tide come in, then ebb, yet we remain confident that the tide will flow again, then ebb once more. We are never afraid that it will not return. Why then do we leap at the flow of the tide of love, and resist in terror its ebb? We must learn to trust, to believe, both in each other and in our commitment. An extract from The Gift of the Sea by Anne Morrow-Lindbergh
Today is a day you will always remember The greatest in anyone's life You'll start off the day just two people in love And end it as husband and wife
It's a brand new beginning The start of a journey With moments to cherish and treasure And although there'll be times When you both disagree These will surely be outweighed by pleasure.
You'll have heard many words of advice in the past When the secrets of marriage were spoken But you know that the answers Are hidden inside Where the bond of true love lies unbroken.
So be happy forever as lovers and friends lt's the dawn of a new life for you As you stand there together With love in your eyes From the moment you answer "I do''
And with luck all your hopes And your dreams can be real May success find its way to your hearts Tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys But today is the day it all starts.
Let your love be stronger than your hate or anger. Learn the wisdom of compromise For it is better to bend, than to break. Believe the best, rather than the worst, For people have a way of living up, or down To your opinion of them. Remember that true friendship is the basis For any lasting relationship. The person you choose to marry is deserving of The courtesy and kindness you bestow on friends. Please hand this down to your children, And to your children's children. Jane Wells
A marriage is a promise That two hearts gladly make A promise to be tender, To help, to give and take.
A marriage is a promise To be kind and understanding; To be thoughtful and considerate Fair and undemanding.
A marriage is a promise to To share one life, together A promise filled with love and truth Kept lovingly, for ever.
The peace of the running water to you The peace of the flowing air to you The peace of the quiet earth to you The peace of the shining stars to you And the love and care of us all to you.
Sun danced on the snow with a sparkling smile As two lovers sat quietly, alone for a while Then he turned and he said with a casual air ! (Though he blushed from his chin to the roots of his hair) | "I think l should like to get married to you".
"Well then", she said, "Well there's a thought, But what if we can't promise to be all that we ought. lf I'm always late when we plan to go out? and I know l can't promise 1'11 learn to ignore Your socks and damp towels strewn over the floor.
So if we can't vow to be all that we should, l'm not sure what to do, though the idea seems good". But gently he smiled, and bowed down his head Until his lips met her ear, and then softly he said.
"I promise to weave my dreams into your own, That where-ever you breathe will be my hearts home. With whatever treasures I find l've been blessed Your smile is the jewel I will treasure the best.
So do you think then, we should marry - do you" "Yes'' she said smiling, "my dear love, l do".
Because we have things in common We have the joy of sharing them; Because we are so different There is much we can learn from each other. Because we are in love, We look for the good in each other Because we are forgiving We overlook the faults in each other Because we have faith We believe in the best for the future Because we are honest We find comfort in trusting each other Because we are filled with loyalty We know that each will always be there.
Marriage is all about giving and taking And forgiving and forsaking Kissing and loving and pushing and shoving Caring and sharing and screaming and swearing.
About being together whatever the weather About being driven to the end of your tether About sweetness and kindness And wisdom - and blindness.
It's about being strong when you're feeling quite weak It's about saying nothing when you're dying to speak lt's about being wrong, when you know you are right It's about giving in, before there's a fight.
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